The Start Part. 2

Its a little scary that I decide to actually start this properly on Friday the 13th... oh well.

Its amazing how travelling can really show you the person your really are, weather you like that person or not. Thailand has changed me more than any other country on earth including home.

Let me start from the beginning… again.

I had pretty much came to the realisation that there was nothing holding me at home any more. I had quit a great job, then my other half and I split, my new job turned out to be an industry that I hated. So basically like many people 'my world' felt like it was falling apart.

THE SEED

In 2001, I went to Nepal with a group of people who till this day I would do anything for. It truly was a once in a lifetime chance to go to a third world country and work and trek as a teenager. Thanks mum and dad. I have always wanted to go back, but as many people know, life came along and grabbed hold of me and took me from my dreams, not that I knew what they were. 'One day at a time' for some but me its more like one day leads to the next, to the next week, to the next year till eventually next lifetime.

So from my situation all I could think of was to start back at one again. Lucky for me had many family and friends, great boss and many who supported me. I went to the same company who had organised my trip to Nepal. This time I was leaning more towards Thailand/Cambodia region. The theory was it's like Nepal but warmer. I wanted to go for 6 months but I could only do 3 months. That was long enough really to figure 'me' out or so I thought.

THE SHOOT

I came to The Mirror Foundation. Everything changed from the day I arrived. Mirror has a habit of attracting a certain type of person. To volunteer here for many is a life changing experience. Its amazing what you can do collectively and how much you can really live without, like hot water for one.

So in short, I did my 3 months here and didn't get that moment of enlightenment of what I am meant to do with my life. But slowly I think it dawned on me that I was doing exactly what I wanted to do. I went home for 2 months and it was the longest 2 months of my life, I hated many moments of it. I knew I could live a better life somewhere else, somewhere like Mirror, but needed to get money together. Home was not home and not that loving environment that it was 3 months earlier, and I know it hadn't changed, it was all me.

THE FIRST LEAF

I have disappointed some people in my life and past, more have disappointed me but this will be my test to face for however long it will last. Mirror is challenging, beautiful, inspiring and encouraging all rolled into one. I have grown up with unusual thoughts and reflections, I have known that for a very long time. Recently someone close to me told me that I 'was on a completely different level to everyone' not better not worse I think but just different. I seem to see things very differently and some see the same things but sometimes not till quite late in their lives. But its funny when you realise that you are on a completely different level to most people, but amazing when you meet a few like you there. Mirror brought those types of people into one place. I also see some people that inspire me so much that it almost makes me sick with worry that I can not do all that I want because of them, because of their ideas, because of their kindness, beliefs, thoughts and souls.

THE BLOOM

I am growing into the person I always wanted to be, I am learning the lessons that always evaded me, I am inspiring myself to push me, I am just me.