My new do... a No. 1

Big question why and a bigger answer...

I think many things pointed me to this point in my life, but here are a few of the reasons why. Sorry Mum!

Ok well as most of you know I'm buddhist and have been focusing on it more in the last few years, I am reading a book called 'The Tibetian Book of Living and Dying' its quite a famous book, not just for buddhists but anyone of any faith or of no faith. It talks about essentially a way to live in today's world and how to die. I bought it maybe 6 years ago and haven't really been able to read it and understand and comprehend the ideas til this year. So the chapter I was reading talks alot about the connections we have to various delusions and the way we value things in a our life and life itself over things that should be important but are never really considered regularly.

And talking to people (mainly Trina, an inspirational woman) while I was in laos, we got to talking about it and then I a realisation that I was more scared to shave my head (so completely attached to my outter appearances) than I was to get a tattoo as now these days I have quite a few, most are hidden from people. And the crazy thing is a tattoo is there til the day leave this body, where my hair would grow back in a few months. Trina who also has done it 4 times now. So she was a bit of a katalyst for it as well. She actually did the cutting at a bus station in Udon Thani, Thailand, with a pair of scissors I bought from a stationary store, then I went to a barber to get the rest done and cleaned up (in Chiang Rai, Thailand) the next morning.

I have always admired girls who could do it. I have always wanted to do it for years but never had the guts and was scared of how people would react to my birthmark on my head as I was always told but my mother to cover it up and never show anyone for the sack of appearances... My birthmark happened during my birth, I was moving too much during it so the doctors decided to sedate me, they aimed for my arm but I moved as they were injecting through the stomach. They instead got my on my head (leftside) now as the result, luckily I survived but I have a mark of a bald patch that will never grow hair.

One thing that my friend who had done it, said that it was amazing and almost enlightenling because you have nothing to hide behind anymore, no safety net and people truely see the person you are and what you are about. No pretence. No ambition. Take it or leave it. So yeah guess thats kinda the reasons why I shaved my head really, in a nutshell anyway...

It has been one of the most unfathomable experiences of my life. I hope other find it as inspirational as I do.

La La Laos pt. 2

Well after our disasterous trip with local Laos transport we opted for the Minivan at 110,000 Kip each. And that wasn't much better at all, we nearly lost our lives maybe 3-4 times, but we did gain a few more friends to our international group. Som (French/Laos guy and his name means organge in Thai sii som) and 3 japanese girls.

We got to Vang Vien at about 7-8pm ish or there abouts, in our car there was a couple who had travelled here before so that was good, as they pointed us in the right direction. After our 6 or so hour trip I was really thankful to get out, I was car sick most of the way, but I didn't see my breakfast twice thank B!

Can I just say that Laos has the most amazingly beautiful mountain range I have ever seen! I couldn't believe it, the mountains were simple spectacular. I wish the photos I took gave it justice.

Vang Vien has is for me little to be desired, it was very touristy or rather it was full of youths, so drunk and probably high that I was so disgusted that I couldn't wait to leave. But one of the main attractions there is to go tubing down a river, tubing for Australians is Li-Lo-ing. I did it growing up in the Blue Mountains and on camping trip so I opted out. But the others went and had a amazing time, but as a heads up if your going there are bars that line the river and various other activities. Be careful, alcohol and swimming can be a dangerous mix. Its a beautiful place though.

The next day we caught another minibus to Vientiane, I strategically located myself near the door for 2 main reasons, I didn't want to be car sick again and also then I would have leg room. It proved to be the best decision ever as the others were so cramped that they could barely walk when they got off the bus.

Vientiane, is the capital of Laos. Its quite a beautiful city, heavily doused in French architechure and styling, it was really weird to see writing in Lao and then french underneath. Like most cities it was quite expensive to stay and eat there (compared to other places in Laos and Thailand). But thank to the Lonely Planet belonging to Som and Auralies absolutely destroyed one we were able to get around and see quite a lot. Vientiane was essentially where our international group of travellers were to leave one another. But it was an amazing time.

Z.

La La Laos

Wow what a trip its been amazing...

On Monday I went to Mae Sai to get what I thought was easy enough was my Non-Immigrant visa extension. But apparently not. So after a wasted trip I ended up back at Mirror with no extension and a piece of paper dictating what I have to bring to get my extension (mind you it was written all in thai). After much descussion between Thai officials (on the phone), Thai Mirror staff, Thellie (our resident farang who speaks thai) and myself, or rather I was just listening, the conclusion was for me to now go to Laos.

I had 12 hours til my songthew (thai taxi) came to get me at 6am Wednesday to take me to Chiang Rai town where I caught a mini van with other farang to the border town of Channg Khong. We were then put on a longboat which took us across the Me Kong river. When we entered Laos we had to do all the visa paperwork and pay the immigration officers.

Welcome to Laos
$30US later we were put in another minivan where we and our new guide took us to the slow boats dock. Myself and a couple from Switzerland Auralie and Dameon had decided not to take the slowboat and opted for a bus which took us to our destination in the one day... supposedly.

Laos Transport
On the bus maybe 2 hours into our trip (which is like 11hours long) the bus broke down in the middle of nowhere! After a few hours we were hungry and decided to walk to a village I saw not too long before we broke down. We got some food and drinks and headed back to the bus.
7 hours after breaking down (and meeting new friends) we were able to bribe our way onto another bus VIP bus. Cramped in the asile on the floor was little tough but the driver had offered me this bed area behind the driver seat, so myself and Duarte from Portugal went and stayed there. We pulled into our destination at like 10am-ish. A total of 30 hours later we got there, the 2 day slow boat pulled in 4 hours after us. Go figure.

Mama
We found a guest house (loving Lonely Planet right now) which was run by a lady named Mama (or i think thats just what everyone called her). She was so amazing, I loved her, she would teach me Lao and we would both speak in thai together. She really looked after us.
While here I went to visit a few temples, a stupa, the National Museum and just hung out. I found so many people were amazed when I spoke thai and then would say "you know thai?!", it was funny. The the conversation would start and my little brain would freak out and all I could say would be "Mai lau" (I don't know). Thai and Lao are very similar. Same same but different.

But sadly we had to leave the beautiful town of Laungpra Baan (sorry spelling is a bit off) and off the rest of Laos, all 5 of us.
Duarte and Jorge from Portugal,
Auralie and Dameon from Switzerland
and my little old self.

Z.

Aftermath of Friday 13th...

THE PLANTATION

We survived the ordeal of Friday the 13th to enter today. And what a crazy day, today has become.

At Mirror Saturday is hectic, the local children from the surrounding villages come to play games, learn English, Japanese and some sort of activity. We also teach local guide which we thought was cancelled, everyone left for the activity. 30mins later we find out the guides are here and need their lesson, Stuart and I had to teach with no preparation and lesson plan. We winged and think it came out all good, luc

ky for us I knew one of the boys and the other was a friends brother.

The activity was banana tree planting with P'Pi. The volunteers went down to Baan Leepa to plant the trees when disaster struck. Firstly Zoe (boy) dislocated his arm, Stuart tripped on a rock and basically opened his toe, it looks like a puppet now with its little flap flapping away I have decided to call it Edward, Adrianne earlier had come off a bike and hurt her leg and knee she's hobbling around on her crutches, Stacy with her infection of BORK (Buddha Only Really Knows), Pam with her foot injury, and little old healthy me trying to stay that way. Ok that was all in the past week but hey whatevs...

Another thing that has been coming up with me is my iGoogle BGs (Backgrounds), for people who use iGoolge I don't know if you love it as much as I or get as much excitement as I do from it. Some say small things amuse small minds, but I think small things amuse mindful minds. Through constant mindfulness you can see more and appreciate more even something as simple as a girl climbing a giraffe at a bus station BG on my iGoogle account. But now I have, yet again moved on from tea house to the bus station with a very interesting girl to some "i'll ninja kick your ass" ninjas! Who doesn't love ninjas!? Pure awesomeness. I could even say pure Dankness!

Tonight we go into town to Big C an do a lil' shopping and dinner and off to the Saturday Walking Market. Should be fun. Then tomorrow we have P'Ao's (one of the most influential and inspirational persons in my life) birthday. I hear a BBQ being started. Yum! So with that note I'm off for tee ang gin kow (Lunch in Thai).

Z.

The Start Part. 2

Its a little scary that I decide to actually start this properly on Friday the 13th... oh well.

Its amazing how travelling can really show you the person your really are, weather you like that person or not. Thailand has changed me more than any other country on earth including home.

Let me start from the beginning… again.

I had pretty much came to the realisation that there was nothing holding me at home any more. I had quit a great job, then my other half and I split, my new job turned out to be an industry that I hated. So basically like many people 'my world' felt like it was falling apart.

THE SEED

In 2001, I went to Nepal with a group of people who till this day I would do anything for. It truly was a once in a lifetime chance to go to a third world country and work and trek as a teenager. Thanks mum and dad. I have always wanted to go back, but as many people know, life came along and grabbed hold of me and took me from my dreams, not that I knew what they were. 'One day at a time' for some but me its more like one day leads to the next, to the next week, to the next year till eventually next lifetime.

So from my situation all I could think of was to start back at one again. Lucky for me had many family and friends, great boss and many who supported me. I went to the same company who had organised my trip to Nepal. This time I was leaning more towards Thailand/Cambodia region. The theory was it's like Nepal but warmer. I wanted to go for 6 months but I could only do 3 months. That was long enough really to figure 'me' out or so I thought.

THE SHOOT

I came to The Mirror Foundation. Everything changed from the day I arrived. Mirror has a habit of attracting a certain type of person. To volunteer here for many is a life changing experience. Its amazing what you can do collectively and how much you can really live without, like hot water for one.

So in short, I did my 3 months here and didn't get that moment of enlightenment of what I am meant to do with my life. But slowly I think it dawned on me that I was doing exactly what I wanted to do. I went home for 2 months and it was the longest 2 months of my life, I hated many moments of it. I knew I could live a better life somewhere else, somewhere like Mirror, but needed to get money together. Home was not home and not that loving environment that it was 3 months earlier, and I know it hadn't changed, it was all me.

THE FIRST LEAF

I have disappointed some people in my life and past, more have disappointed me but this will be my test to face for however long it will last. Mirror is challenging, beautiful, inspiring and encouraging all rolled into one. I have grown up with unusual thoughts and reflections, I have known that for a very long time. Recently someone close to me told me that I 'was on a completely different level to everyone' not better not worse I think but just different. I seem to see things very differently and some see the same things but sometimes not till quite late in their lives. But its funny when you realise that you are on a completely different level to most people, but amazing when you meet a few like you there. Mirror brought those types of people into one place. I also see some people that inspire me so much that it almost makes me sick with worry that I can not do all that I want because of them, because of their ideas, because of their kindness, beliefs, thoughts and souls.

THE BLOOM

I am growing into the person I always wanted to be, I am learning the lessons that always evaded me, I am inspiring myself to push me, I am just me.